Today is Saturday. I felt a little better yesterday morning so I thought I would go out and do some shopping. I needed to pick up a couple of wedding gifts and go to Walmart. Well, it did me in so I haven't felt very good today. I think it is going to take longer than I thought to get better. Ugh!! 

Went back to the Dr. yesterday and there has been little improvement in my lungs. Got another breathing treatment and a stronger, longer antibiotic and steroid plus some cough medicine. She wants to see me next Wed. if I'm not markedly better but I don't think I will wait that long. If I'm not better by Mon. I'll call in and try to see my regular Dr.  The heat has been terrible. Up in the low hundreds. I felt bad that I had to skip working at the Temple today and tomorrow. It would have only been my second time going there.  Michael didn't get up until 8:45 this morning. I was a little worried about him so I peeked in and he was moving. What a sigh of relief! My precious daughter, Stacey, has gestational diabetes. I'm so sad for her. This pregnancy has not been an easy one.  Stephanie found a mouse in her kitchen today. Time for the mouse traps!  Haven't heard from Brian for a week now. Don't know why. Maybe he is still mad that I posted on Facebook that he and his Dad had ADHD. Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it.

Had the best visit with Michael's sister Mary last Monday. She is the most wonderful woman and friend. I was sorry the visit was so short. A week ago this last Fri. I woke up with a sore throat. As each day came along I felt a little worse. By Tuesday I had a cough and my chest started to burn and feel heavy. By Thursday I was really coughing a lot. On this last Friday I was thinking that I would go to the Dr. on Monday if I wasn't feeling any better but as the day wore on I just felt worse so I decided to go to the Dr. I called and got an afternoon appt. They tested me for strep and checked my oxygen level. She couldn't hear any breath sounds in my right lung so she ordered an xray and a breathing treatment. It turns out I have pneumonia in both lungs. She gave me an rx for 2 inhalers (different), an antibiotic and some prednisone.  Today is Sunday and I don't feel any better yet. I don't go back to see her until Wednesday.  Michael keeps asking me if I need to go to the hospital. I'm just going to wait until my appt.  Hopefully I will be feeling better by then.

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials.

I am so excited! Michael's sister, Mary is coming today. She is my very best friend. I love her so much. She is just like a real sister to me. She has been back in Illinois getting things packed in the van to bring out here from Mom's things. She has things for the girls, Brian and us. I'm sure it will be emotional for Michael. Maybe even for the rest of us too.  I wish Stacey were here with us. I miss her so much.

Water aerobics is going very well. I quite enjoy it. I will only be going for 3 days a week because I will be working in the Temple on Thurs. and Fri. mornings. I talked to Evelyn about going to a class on Thurs nights but the class does conditioning and pool laps. I found out today I can't swim very well. I SINK!!!  Soooo, we will not be doing that.

Michael and I have a new calling in the Church. We are the new Shepherding Couple.  We will be keeping in touch with those who are between the ages of 18 and 30 that live in the ward boundaries. Just seeing how they are doing and seeing if they are interested in attending the Young Single Adult ward.  It should be interesting.

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials.

Today I went and did water aerobics with Evelyn. I thought it was the first time I had ever done it but Stacey told me I had done it years before and almost drowned. This was in the middle of my full blown illness.  I was very unsteady on my feet and couldn't stand or walk straight. Anyway, I had a blast and will be doing it every Mon., Tues., and Wed. for the rest of the summer. It was harder than I thought it would be but then again I'm not in very good shape.

It has really been a very busy week and I am tired. I'm just vegging this afternoon.

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials.

Yesterday I worked as a poll judge for our primary election. What a long day! It went from 6 in the morning to 8:45 at night. It was an interesting experience and one that I enjoyed. Unfortunately, there were only 335 voters out of 6 precincts and 30 of those were just Vote-by-Mail envelopes that were brought in. I will work the November election and because that is a Presidential election it will be much busier.

I was sure tired by the time I got home and my back was killing me. The chairs were not that comfortable. However, it was a blessing that it didn't bother me until I got home.

Went for an interview at the Temple this morning and I will be volunteering in the Baptistry on Thurs. and Fri. mornings starting next week. I am so excited!

My dear friend, Evelyn, and I will be starting water areobics tomorrow. I've never done it before but it should be fun. It is simply too hot to walk right now.

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials.

Tonight I go to setup the voting place. Tomorrow I will be working the polls for 7 precincts. It will be a very long day. I am interested in seeing in more detail just how the voting process works. I will work from 6am to 9pm. It will be a challenge for me. My brain still gets confused at times when there is a lot of input going on. But, I will do my best. I wish I was working in a precinct in Riverton, but, I was assigned a precinct in Herriman. My very dear friend, Pam, will be taking me in the morning. I feel it is quite a sacrifice for her to get up so early to take me. I am so grateful for her willingness to help me.

I am working on painting a beehive with 2 little bees attached to hang on my front door. It looks cute so far. I'm not a big crafter but my daughter always helps me when I need advice on what to do next.

I sure do miss my grandkids. I haven't seen my sons kids in over a week. They are on a camping trip with their other grandparents. They are so cute and fun to be around. They love to come over and help me to feed the chickens and get the eggs. We have 7 chickens that we purchased in  2011 for Easter for the grandkids. It has been fun to see them grow. We had 8 but one of them fell head first into their water bucket and drowned. Dumb chicken!! lol

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials. 

I accidentally deleted a previous entry from today so I will try to remember what I wrote. I looked over my posts and found a blog that I very first started with on May 11, 2006. This is what I entered: "I've never done this before so it will probably read in a rather strange way for awhile. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and am having a hard time focusing. Maybe this will help me work through the voices and visions."

That was the only entry until I started this blog in 2007.  Now that I am doing much better, I will be making entries on a regular basis. I sometimes wish I could remember things from the past 6 years but then again I don't know if it would help me or not. So, I will just go on from here and if flashes of memory come to me, I'll probably mention them.

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials.

I am wishing I were living in Alaska right now! The weather is soooo hot! The change in my medication is helping. Yipee! I am feeling much less depressed and have a better outlook on life. I am so grateful. The anxiety is still there but I can live with that.  I saw a note on my fridge that my daughter came up with. I was in a very bad place, mentally, at the time. I thought I was doing well enough and didn't need my medications anymore. She was trying to help me see that the meds were what was helping me and I couldn't stop taking them. The note said: "If it's raining and you're under an umbrella; does that mean it's not raining anymore? No; it just means you're less effected by the rain because of the umbrella."  We believe that the inspiration for this quote came from our Heavenly Father. She helped me to see the wisdom in continuing with my treatment and to keep following my doctors instruction. The last 6 years have been so difficult. My memory of them is mostly gone. But, now, hopefully, I will continue to be better and live a more productive life as I did before I got sick. 

Well, here I am with another medication change. However, if this one works I will only be taking one medication! They are weaning me off the Depakote and increasing the Seroquel to 600mg. a day. The depression is back with a vengeance again so that's why the change. Hopefully within 2 weeks I'll see a difference.

Well, I saw my last post and I don't know how I managed to make it look like that and I don't know how to change it. Feeling pretty down. It's hard thinking about Michael's mom being gone. He is having a hard time with it of course. Stacey will be here in 2-1/2 days. I can hardly wait! Her shower will be on Sat. the 12th and then while she  is still here all of the family will be going out to dinner in honor of Mom. I've been so hot and sweaty that I had to take a shower in the middle of the day just to cool off. I hate the weather whenever it gets above 70. So, I'm looking at a long, upcoming 4 months.  UUGH!!

There were changes made by the server on this website and it deleted a couple of posts I had done since the last one that is showing. I, of course, don't remember what I said in them so I'll start all over today.  Michael's mom died unexpectedly yesterday afternoon. She was in the hospital to rehydrate, increase her blood oxygen levels and improve her blood pressure. She went in on Friday. She was doing better and had a good visit with 2 of her sisters and MaryLynn in the morning. Her sisters left and MaryLynn stayed. Mom was eating and feeling better. The thoughts on Sat. were that she would go home on Sunday. They got her out of bed for a minute. After laying back down she was having some trouble breathing and told Mary she needed to go to the bathroom. Mary got her up and helped her back to bed but by this time she was wheezing and complained that her lung was hurting her. MaryLynn started rubbing her back, the nurses came in to see what was needed. MaryLynn said she could feel mom's heart beating out the back of her chest. Then she closed her eyes and died.  As sad and difficult it is for everyone; it is such a blessing that it happened this way. My personal feelings have been that she would have never survived all the chemo and would have suffered before finally giving into the cancer.  How I wish I was there.

Yesterday; Sunday, was a most interesting day. We had the joy of seeing our son, Brian, bless our fourth grandchild, Chase. What a sweet experience. Then after the meeting we couldn't believe our eyes but a man came up to Michael and I and it was one of the missionaries who taught us the gospel and baptized us in California. It was such a thrill to see him!  We had a great time over at Brian and Jamie's after the blessing with a great lunch and then came home.  Stephanie had had a call on her cell from Mary but she didn't leave a message. I tried calling but she didn't answer so I figured I would call her later after we had been home for awhile.  Then I got a call from Brian that he had received a text from Uncle Pat that said, Mom had died. He sent it to Brian at about one o'clock. I immediately called Mary and then found out from her what had happened.  Michael took it very hard yesterday but is doing better today.  I really wish he would go back to Illinois but he has such bad feelings about being back there I don't think he will even go back there for this. Mom didn't want any kind of service anyway but I know Mary would love to have him there for support. I don't think it's right to have the whole load on her shoulders.

The pictures just posted a couple of days ago are old. Ashlyn is now 6, Trent is now 4, Luke is now 23 months and the new little baby boy, Chase, is only a month old. You can go to Jamie's blog "The Smiley Family" to see all updated pictures. Still really down. Don't know what else to say. Going to see if Michael will take me over to Brian's tonight to see the kids. That might cheer me up. Haven't heard from Mare for a couple of days. Mom's MRI was postponed for 10 days because she was taking baby aspirin and the the dye used would not work correctly.

Grandkids

My glucose level (A1c) is 7.7. That is too high. Not seriously high but all the same too high. My glucometer wasn't working right so the Dr. gave me a new one and told me to test 4 times a day and then call him with the results. This way he will know what to suggest as far as my insulin shots go. 
Still haven't heard back from him yet.  Depression is still going strong. Steph, Jamie and I are planning a baby shower for Stacey when she comes out in a couple of weeks for Mother's Day. Can hardly wait to see her.  We posted it on my facebook page. I hope that is okay. Not too tacky.  It seemed the easiest way to invite people. Anyway, I hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Well as much as I hate to say it, the depression is back. Can't seem to shake it on my own. Will talk to the Dr. about a medication change. I don't like the idea of it but I can't go on like this everyday. Saw pictures on Jamie's blog of the pictures taken of the children. They are so adorable. I wish I could see them everyday but that is unrealistic. I have a doctors appt. for my diabetes today. I am not in good control of my glucose levels so we will see what he has to say about it and what to do.

Went to order my new glasses today. Decided to also get some sunglasses. Even with my insurance; $338.00.  Ouch!!  Stephanie took me. She is such a wonderful daughter and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Talked to Stacey yesterday. She sounds good and seems to be doing well with her pregnancy despite minor glitches here and there. I miss her so much and wish she were closer. Brian and Jamie have been struggling with the boys vomiting and having diahhrea. (Sorry, I don't know how to spell that) I'm hoping they feel better so we can see them this week.  I'm so grateful to Brian for doing our taxes. He is so busy and I know it was hard for him to find the time to go through it. He is a wonderful husband, father and son. My A/C is finally on in the house so I'm not such a grumpy person. I know Michael appreciates it for that reason alone!

Today has been a long, solemn day. Michael's mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and doesn't have long to live.  We are all just trying to process it. I miss my grandkids. Brian was going to bring them over today but haven't seen them. We sang a song in church called, "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" It just reminded me that our Heavenly Father and Jesus are always there for us. We only have to seek them out. I'm very fortunate to have such a testimony. I miss my mom and dad. Talked to my sister, Vickie, yesterday. We had a nice talk. Also, her son, Jason with his wife, Marcy, brought over their 2 little ones, Dallas and Emily. It was great to see them. Friday and Saturday I planted and weeded myself into very sore muscles! I am so blessed to have the family and friends that I do. 

I just finished reading all of my past posts. I felt so nostalgic reading the responses and grateful for such loved ones. Today is a sad day. I spoke with Mary yesterday and Mom is not doing well. The Dr. says her cancer has spread from the tumor in her lung to her lymph nodes, liver and probably to her bones. She is on her way to IL today to be with her when she sees the Dr. on Thurs. the 19th. Michael is having a really hard time. I wish I could be there for Mary, Mom, and Pat. We don't know how much time she has left but, I don't think it will be very long. It is rainy today so just staying in the house. Tomorrow I have a Dr's. appt for my cpap. My good friend, Evelyn Beck, will be taking me since I still can't drive. She has been a godsend. I don't even feel like getting dressed today.

New beginnings

True joy comes from recognizing the power within each one of us to make this life a happy one despite our trials. I am back on this after 4 years. Stephanie helped me to find it again. The last 6 years have been hard. Many pitfalls and not much memory of any of it. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Two hospital stays. One just this past January. Doing better now. I have the most wonderful family and am so blessed. Looking forward to posting on this much more often. There is much to catch up on. Please let me know if you see this. Love to all.